The Art of Feelings

Sensitivity and Perfection… At Its Best

A friend of mine, a brilliant and splendid gal, well her favorite line has always been, “well no one is perfect!” Hold up… let’s just all think about this for a second. To me, it just sounded like she was quoting a long lost and long thankfully forgotten pop singer and actress, but she may have a point… maybe just maybe. 

One of perhaps not my closest, but my most honest friends, would always describe me as his most sensitive. The smallest things got to me, and he always knew me as that strange girl that was the official third wheel for him and his girlfriend… probably not to mention the girl whose favorite line was, “oh, he/she makes me feel bad… but that doesn’t mean they’re a bad person!”

Granted, I hated branding people… this person is good, no wait, this person is good. This person is bad, stay away, this person is real bad. Stay the heck away! Yeah no, that never got me anywhere real… or pleasant… not a mindset I wanted to be in at least.

Anyways, I have always found it hard to deal with myself in those instances. There are those times, I try too hard to keep a conversation going. I try too hard to fit in. I try too hard to find new friends. I try too hard to surround myself with people that will maybe not love me, or even like me, but just make me feel less lonely, even if it is just for a second after all. I try too hard to be anyone besides myself. I get it. I see people do it all the time, walking around the city, walking through halls in crowded places, I see it happen all the time, and I get it. I totally do, but believe me, after all of those instances, there is just that little freak moment afterwards, where a bad memory resurfaces, or like me, you just feel like plain ol’ blatant crap on a stick.

In those times, well let me just say, I am here for you… in any way I can, but here are some ways that I have found have helped me deal with some of my moments, some of my scariest, most embarrassing, and overall, worst moments.

  1. The BFFL – Well there’s a thing called a best friend… I have always had trouble picking friends… on the other hand, my hand at picking best friends, well not to toot my own horn or anything, but it was spotless. Having lots is great, but every person needs another half. We all need a friend or two that you know will always stick by yourself, that you have mutual respect and understanding with, and that you will always and forever sit and rant to problems about. They do not even have to know the person or topic that you have gotten worked up about. Why? Because it does not matter. The cutest thing my boyfriend has ever said to me was, “I don’t give a shit what it’s about, how big or small or insignificant you think it is, but if it bothers you, then it bothers me.” My point is, they know you, and that is enough to fix anything.
  2. Comfort Food – I have got to be the only person on the planet to fall in love with the most boring food in the world, but it is and has always been my comfort food. Ladies and gentlemen, please meet my hubby, boiled lettuce!  Yeah… I get what you are probably thinking right now… This chick is lunatic am I right?! Not only does she like lettuce… but it is freaking boiled! Yes, my lettuce is boiled, but when I see nothing in my head but people laughing and staring and mocking or when I think of nothing but accusations from those I trusted, I just need to boiled lettuce to keep my mouth busy and my head still. For some, it is ice cream, for others, it is a popsicle, for my best friend, it is Chipotle tacos, for my boyfriend, it is turkey pot pie… And on those days that I am sitting by myself curled up in my office chair with a large boil or boiled lettuce, he knows I just need some me time.
  3. Me Time – Funny enough, that was like the perfect gateway to the next idea… Sometimes all it takes is a good cry in the corner or on a bathroom sink to shock you back to reality… And the reality is, you will be okay.
  4. Farming Games – Now I was quite the phone gamer, still am to an extent. Games like Knights & Dragons and Summoner’s War have mighty fine farming capabilities… that is, repeatedly hitting and attacking the same thing over and over again. Trust me, hitting the same thing over and over again relieves nerves all the time, unless the thing is cute… then perhaps try a different game!
  5. Ratchet Exercise – Personally, I am a big fan of a quick twenty minute jog. The patter of my shoes against concrete, the pumping of my arms back and forth, the ragged breathing, everything about it… I just love it. However, for some that are not into exercising quite as much, do some butt exercises or yoga. Look up a few, crank up the music and try them out! Focus on the loud music and your own breathing and maybe it is just the distraction you need to feel a little better. If you happen to have some nice space outside, dance, scream, yell, something along those lines. Empty fields are great places to just destress and recollect. Now just imagine if I started doing butt exercises whenever I got upset instead, well I think I would have a pretty good lookin’ rear end then.
  6. Pictures – Take out a sheet of paper, expo board, canvas, anything along those lines. Get out some markers (or paint!!) and just draw. Mostly, I just draw lines and circles and all that and hope for the best, but draw the feeling! Frustration, well maybe some circles are necessary. Anger, poke some holes in the paper. Sadness, long lines around the paper, and etc. Just draw how you feel, and no harm could possibly come from that.

Again, “no one is perfect”. All those times they upset you, and make you feel bad about who you are or anything you do, well I truly apologize. However, it is important to just remember you are you. Ignore them, no matter how sensitive or weak you may feel, Ignore. Them. May be hard at first, but “Nobody’s perfect. I gotta work it. Again and again ’til I get it right”… not for them, but for you.

 

Special thanks to Chris and Jess, for talking with me for hours on Friday and inspiring this post.

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