This was a rant a while back… for a beautiful friend… That made me realize that flirting did not have to be “dirty” and having a good time did not have to involve “sexting”, and etc. etc. You get the dealio.
“I think perhaps it’s only when we’re at your worst that we come to realize what we truly miss. It never really did hit me as to what I lost until now. On a night when the stars don’t shine as bright and the room feels just a little rocky and the world feels just a little blurry, I would look back and remember you. Remember my best friend who was there for me through so much. The one who was forever innocent. Who made me feel innocent. The one who was always there for me. Just lingering, never judging. The one who never made me feel like I was on my own, because there is nothing worse, then feeling alone… On your own.
Despite everything we went through, I don’t think I ever truly forgave you, until now… When I finally come to realize that despite all the crap thrown our way, you were my constant. You were my shining star. You were the one thing that I always counted on to be there for me. You were the one person, who stood by me… When I pushed everyone else away.
And maybe it was a let down… Just to see that despite all your flaws, you weren’t superman. You were not perfect, not even to me. But I’m not either. I never will be. You loved me. Unconditionally. And that is all I could’ve ever asked for.
I’ve swerved. Off our path. Off of what I want to be and what I want to be known for… I’ve swerved… So much. I’m not in control. I haven’t been in control. And it takes a lot to ask for help… But you were the one, that never made me ask. You just did.
So on this night, when I just keep switching back and forth between my emotions and between my friends and just between my head…. I keep wishing that something would just help me. But I have come to realize, that they really can’t. Because they are just not you. No one else is you. No one else, can be you.
So I hope, one day… When I see you again, you’ll look at me, the same way you always have. You’ll smile at me, that beautiful smile, like nothing was wrong in the world. You’ll make me laugh in that way, you once did. And just hold me tight. But don’t let go… Don’t make me let go. Ever again.”
Special thanks to Wil… For always being original. My special little innocent star.